In my words...

. . .and then I called you.(Part 1)

One of His signs is that He created for you spouses like your selves so that you may live with them with affection and mercy – there are signs in this for people who reflect.” (Qur’an 30:21)



Time doesn’t seem to pass. I can’t wait to tell him. How will he react? Will he leap out of joy or will he carry me in his arms? Perhaps he will just stare at the report and keep staring at it like I did. Six years it has been.. six years to the dream that we once spun.. the dream of being gifted with another life, of holding those tiny fingers and feeling them against ours.. the long debates of who would wake up at night and who would change the nappies had now subsided.. the hopes had now become a silent acceptance of duas denied in dunya.. until today.

It’s 7pm. Kabir should be home at any moment. How will I tell him? I stand in front of the mirror and rehearse as a nursery child.

” Congratulations Mr Kabir Sayed!”… ummm no, doesn’t sound right.. “Hello papa to be”.. no..  “I have something to say..” ..uhhh.. why am I nervous? I chuckle to myself!

Isn’t it something I have been asking in all my salahs? Haven’t I always imagined those tiny feet running down the corridors of my house as I stare at their emptiness? The ache that I felt when I saw those kids playing in the park.. the silence of this house that has been haunting me for six years.. it’s going to end soon In Shaa Allah..

I panic as the door bell rings! Shaken out of my thoughts.. Must be Kabir. Dadda (my father in law) opens the door for him. I rush out to see him. My heart still skips a beat when I see him… even after seven years of marriage. Kabir was everything that I had dreamt of- a good husband, a good son, an intelligent man, smart personality, and caring gentle partner… I know with sabr he has always waited for this day. Not a day did he ever let it affect us but I know deep within his heart ached.

Silently I follow him with my reports.

– “Kabir…”
-“hmmmm….”, soft and unmindful

I hand over the paper to him and he takes it as unmindfully. Slowly the calm on his face vanishes. Clueless.

-“medical reports? You went to the doctor? Is everything okay? ”

– ” go ahead, open it” , I smile and I can’t stop smiling…

Time goes still. A blanket of silence masks the room. I could hear my heart pound.. Life changed forever in the next thirty seconds….

-” Aafiyaah..”, he couldn’t speak more than that. His voice sunk. I think I saw a tear as he lowered his lids and wiped off his face with his sleeves… but they wouldn’t stop! Much as he tried to hide them but as he smiled, he cried.. his face flushed with redness..

-“Aafiyah”.. and he extended his arm calling me..

-“yes, it is for real… it is happening”, I sat beside him, put my palm on his…

Papers are flung aside and he rushed to plant a peck on my forehead. The air is filled with laughter, tears and chuckles.. Both of us choke with happiness. I don’t know when we last shared a moment so blissful… Alhamdulillah, my fairy tale had begun…

SubhanAllah, not a minute wasted… Kabir immediately went into sujood. To The One who finally answered our duas. All those nights that you stood, all those tears that you shed my beloved, they have been heard… You stayed long with your head on the floor that day. I know you couldn’t stop thanking, I know you couldn’t start believing. A fear clung that night…perhaps I would wake up the next morning and it would be but a dream… but as I see you, my heart reconciles. It will be fine now. Now…

My life seems to have just begun….


To be continued…


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