O mankind! reverence your Guardian-Lord Who created you from a single person created of like nature his mate and from them twain scattered (like seeds) countless men and women; reverence Allah through Whom ye demand your mutual (rights) and (reverence) the wombs (that bore you): for Allah ever watches over you.
[Qur’an 4:1, An-Nisaa]
I finally felt complete as a woman. That was the day, I first felt the essence of motherhood- of being completely in love with someone you haven’t even seen. But the greatest gift of all was the bliss I saw on Kabir’s face that day. From that day on I saw a different man in the house. He was no longer Abdul Kabir Sayed the lead architect, the son, the husband. He was now living the life of a father awaiting his child.
For hours together he would speak to his child and then burst into an innocent chuckle as if the baby responded. I would just be the silent spectator, a third party to witness these events. Alhamdulillah. Could it ever be so perfect in dunya?
SubhanAllah, we could never thank Allah subhanah wa ta’ala enough. The sweetness after hardship. I knew it was an amanah.. I realised I have to take care of it as one and make my baby a beautiful muslim. Secretly, deep down I wanted a boy and I wished him to be just like his father. Kabir wanted a girl. ‘Raeesa’ , he even selected her name! Alhamdulillah, we both knew we would accept whatever Allah subhanah wa ta’ala bestowed us with and love it immensely.
The next few months seemed long but we lived each day of it. Every check up was religiously scheduled and all prescriptions followed. At nights when I would crave for Burgers and pickles, Kabir would patiently drive through the city and get the choicest ones for me just as I liked them – spicey and big! In the morning after fajr we would go for a brief walk and share our thoughts as two school kids! The colour of the rooms, the school, the holidays alhamdulillah every dream was being framed into a plan..
“Whether you conceal what is in your hearts or bring it into the open, God knows it: for He knows all that is in the heavens and all that is on earth; and God has the power to will anything.”
Our salahs automatically became longer. Those unspoken words, silent desires were now let out. The doors of our hearts were completely open. Nothing was hidden from As Sami, Al Baseer- The All Seeing, The All Hearing. We wept every time, we thanked every time… and we waited patiently.
Those were the nine months that I truly lived. Every desire and every dream was placed in my hands before I could even ask. As the time was nearing, I started feeling more and more nervous. There were nights that I would wake up scared and sweating profusely. Yet, there were nights I could not sleep at all. Sometimes an unknown fear would grip me when I couldn’t feel the kicks within only to be relieved when they would begin vehemently after a while! I would just laugh to myself.
Its on one of those rare nights that my body allows me to sleep that I wake up in a pool of liquid. My first thought is that I’m bleeding! Something wrong with my baby! My heart leaps off my chest and Kabir wakes with my wails.
– “What’s wrong!?”, He sits up in a panicked sweat.
“I don’t know, I think I’m bleeding.”, I say.
I get out of bed to realize that I was in a pool of water and not blood! My water just broke. My waters just broke! We look at each others eyes as the dawn of reality resonates in both our eyes.
” Its time”, I say….
To be continued. . .