my journey as a revert muslimah

I Got Her Crying!

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As a muslimah, I take my obligation of giving dawah seriously. Alhamdulillah. To those of you who are not aware of what dawah means, it simply means inviting people into Islam. It need not necessarily be an outright invitation of “hey you wanna join me as a muslim because Islam is………”. For me, it is subtle and a soft way of introducing Islam to the ignorant masses. It is an effort to bring those who have strayed, closer to God. It is an effort to bring the ones in despair into the ambit of God’s mercy.

The Prophet (pbuh) said

Convey (my teachings) to the people even if it were a single sentence” (Sahih Bukhari, Vol.4, Hadith 667)

As muslims we are blessed to have been chosen as servants to Ar Rahmaan, Ar Raheem (The Most Merciful, The Most Benevolent). We are blessed to know the attributes of God and to understand monotheism in its true sense, we have been commanded by Allah to share this blessing with the rest of His creation too. It is fardh upon us.

Ahem!..but sometimes it just goes wrong. Most of the times, I am granted this opportunity when someone asks me about Islam on their own. For example, they will ask me why I wear the hijab? On the other hand I admit, I have this habit of trying to get Islam into my conversations with non-muslims. It is not a habit, it is actually a conscious effort. So someone might be asking me, “what is your favourite apparel” and I would answer, “abaya” and then would consciously direct the conversation to modesty, lowering gaze, hijab, inter-mixing of sexes and the conversation would go on and on to perhaps end with a hadith on being kind to your neighbours! (Alhamdulillah).

If nothing works, I generally disclose (to those who don’t know) that I am a revert. This has worked 100% if the times. Everytime there is a reaction,
-“whatttttt! So your parents are..?”.
– “hindus” , *poker face* :-/
– ” but why…?”
I am sure my face beams with happiness at this point. Just the question I was waiting for. SubhanAllah, by the will of Allah, I then begin why Islam. 😉

Back in December, my team in office decided to go for a team lunch as a team building activity. We were a team of approximately fifteen youngsters. Amongst them was a good friend Lara. Like many pretty girls, Lara loves herself. Mirror is her best friend and the camera soon follows. So much that Lara actually has a tiny mirror fixed next to her desktop in her cubicle. Alhamdulillah, Allah indeed has gifted her with a beautiful face.

As is the trend these days, no sooner did we hit the table that everyone started clicking photographs. Lara also got a few pictures clicked from my phone.

A couple of days passed and Lara did not ask for the pictures. I guessed she must have forgotten about them and since I dislike keeping pictures with me, I deleted them over the weekend. I still cannot forget the look of horror on Lara’s face when she learnt I deleted her pictures! Alhamdulillah, it was as if I had burnt her hair ;-P  She checked and re-checked my phone quadruple times to ensure it wasn’t a joke. 😥

It was then that she asked me why I do not keep my pictures or put them up on social networking sites. Alhamdulillah, I grabbed this opportunity as a chance to explain her the fitnah a photo may cause. I said bismillah and only with the intention to advise her against fitnah, explained how “lowering of gaze” is such an important aspect of modesty. That womanhood has been reduced to the display of physical beauty and that is a cause of major fitnah in today’s age.

The second aspect, of not displaying your adornment is concern. Concern for those who do not possess what we do. There are people who do not consider themselves as beautiful or those who are not considered beautiful by the world. Though Allah subhana wa ta’ala tells us that we are all beautiful in His eyes, we humans have demeaned beauty by restricting it to terms and conditions like fair, slim, tall, hazel eyes etc. Then there are those who cannot afford that holiday you went to, the jewellery you sport, the lavish grand wedding you had, the amazing meal you are eating, the loving family or the awesome friend circle you have. Doesn’t our constant display of how uptown our lives are, sadden a portion of our society? We act that we are kind and considerate people, then what happens when we act so inconsiderate and desperate to show off our affairs?

Haritha b. Wahb reported that he heard Allah’s Apostle (صلي الله عليه وسلم) as saying:

May I not inform you about the inmates of Paradise? They said: Do this, of course. Thereupon Allah’s Apostle (صلي الله عليه وسلم) said: Every humble person who is considered to be humble if he were to adjure In the name of Allah, He would fulfil it. He then said: May I not inform you about the denizens of Hell-Fire? They said: Yes. And he said: Every haughty, fat and proud (person). [Sahih Muslim]

The third aspect which affects us is the evil eye. The evil eye is a truth. As I told you, there are many who are deprived of these blessings, it may lead to despair, envy, hurt, anger and all this in turn might lead to evil eye. Of course, no evil eye can touch you until Allah wills. But we must tie the camel and leave the rest to Allah (a famous arabic proverb).

It was narrated from ‘Abdullah bin ‘Amir bin Rabi’ah, from his father, that the Prophet (ﷺ) said:

“The evil eye is real.” [Sunan ibn Majah]

Alhamdulillah, Lara seemed to have understood. She nodded in agreement and consented that my understanding was right. I felt glad she grasped it well and healthily. She smiled and I left smiling back hoping that she takes heed of it in the coming days. Beautiful Lara!

“Let there arise out of you a band of people inviting to all that is good, enjoining what is right, and forbidding what is wrong: They are the ones to attain felicity.” (Quran 3:104)

The next week was the Christmas to New Years week and so I combined my leaves to have a long fifteen days getaway from office! Lo behold… little did I know that I would have to come with a shield :’)

– “dude what did you tell Lara?” , Khushi came somewhat worried.

*me looking gawk eyed*
-“aing??”

-“what did you tell Lara, she was crying!”

*Me still in the ‘aing’ mode.*

I was trying to recall a friction, a heated argument, a taunt, a blow, a box etc. In fact, I was on leave for two weeks, what could I do?

None.

– “Lara has been going to every person in the office and crying profusely. Yes, to each and every person asking if her photos cause sadness and evil eye because you told her so!”

Anger. Pity. Sadness. Confusion. It was an overwhelm of emotions I felt. Anger because she told me she understood and smiled with acceptance when I told. My words were moulded behind me, and presented wrongly. I have never refused to a healthy discussion/ debate over what I speak. So why not show disagreement on my face? Confused because I was wondering why cry seven days after the incident and what was there to cry? Pity and sadness for the means used to blow such a general conversation out of proportion. A photograph!

Weird as my mind is, I was imagining Lara’s crying face and the voice of  Pamper baby. Since, I have actually not seen adults boohooing in public this way.

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It took me a while to figure out how I was supposed to react. I concluded, it is okay. Whenever someone has given dawah, he has always earned enemies. Even our Prophet (صلي الله عليه وسلم) was hurled with abuses when he went to spread Islam. Was he not called a magician, a mad man, liar or poet? Was he not pelted with stones by the people of Taif? But all the Prophet (صلي الله عليه وسلم) ever did for them was to make duaa.

The repayment of a bad action is one equivalent to it. But if someone pardons and puts things right, his reward is with Allah. Certainly He does not love wrongdoers. (Surat Ash-Shura, 40)

I must admit, it took me longer to let go the matter and figure out what Lara had in her heart. As I sat in my workstation, Lara came with absolute warmth and welcomed me. She spoke to me, sat beside me and in fact when we were deciding teams for a mini project, she volunteered to be in my team rather than other more experienced colleagues.

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She sure had me going in ‘aing’ mode all the times. At times I wondered whether she was actually doing the crying and asking each person over the week because here she was more than normal with me.

The topic was quite a wildfire in our circle and I decided against giving any explanation. In all this, I was having shaytaan’s waswasa through various ways to stop giving dawah and stop telling people about Islam, to maintain a protective shield from people and not mix freely with colleagues. This incident got me thinking about where probably I could have gone wrong? I try to ensure the best tone whilst giving dawah and if anything harsh comes from the other side I seek protection from Allah “Audhubillah”. I have spoken about Islam and its aspect to so many people, never has anyone interpreted it this way or used it wrongly.

Alhamdulillah, I decided to ignore waswasaa. I thought about the many brothers and sisters who avoid giving dawah in workplaces or schools because of the fear of what people will say. Trust me, nothing happened. My seniors in office still loved and respected me because I have been a good performer by the will of Allah.

“Therefore do thou give admonition, for thou art one to admonish. Thou art not one to manage (men’s) affairs.” (Qur’an 88:21-22)

Your job is to deliver the message with wisdom and beautiful preaching. (Quran16:125). Your job is not to convert people. A Muslim CANNOT force anyone to embrace Islam.  You are supposed to deliver the Truth of Islam. The rest is up to them whether they accept or not.

People who speak will always speak. One day the topic for Lara was Mona and Shona, so the next day it was me. I wasn’t surprised when a few days later Lara came to me cribbing how difficult marital life is, especially when parents in law are around! Allah protect us from gheeba (backbiting). I realised that it was not hurt but rather the habit of Lara to involve herself in gheeba.

People who are composed and mature, always welcome others’ ideas. Though, they might not agree but they still take it positively. Respectful people understand that the hearts of majority is nice, and who is not flawed in habits?
My dear brothers and sisters in Islam, we do not do it for ourselves, because what will we benefit by anyone accepting tawheed (Oneness of God)? Always remember that we do it to please God (Allah subhana wa ta’ala), we do it to help people out of shirk. We must understand that they are ignorant and they are not aware of the virtues of goodness. They are not aware that the best deed is to stay away from shirk, else from whom will you seek reward of your good deeds? (You never even turned to Him in your lifetime!). When they try to harm you, realise that it is shaytaan using them to discourage you. Imagine that one person, who will be guided by your words and that one person who is in need of Allah. Will we deprive him of the greatest Mercy because someone told us something? Where would we be if our Rusool Allah (salallahu alayhi wasallam) stopped when he was hurled with hurtful words?

So, correct your intention, and carry on with your walk as a Muslim. The world will follow. The next day I was back with Reha, Shreya and Pratiksha

– “blah blah blah…… by the way, I have chosen my faith. I am not a born muslim….”

Pop came the awaited reaction, “whyyyyy Islaaaaaam!!” 😀 😀 😀

“Let there be no compulsion in religion:Truth stands out clear from Error:”(Quran 2:256)

 

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31 thoughts on “I Got Her Crying!

  1. bluespiritmuslimah says:

    Moreover Yeah it isn’t our fault if a person doesn’t want to take our advice. Some people there is no light in their heart to see the truth. We should pray to Allah to open their hearts to Islam because when dawah is taken a wrong way then it truly hurts but it is for Allah Alhamdulilah so we are good to go. By the way one of the characteristics of major sinners is that they don’t like the company of the righteous instead they prefer evil people. When there are many sins they leave a mark on the heart of the person who commits them, so he becomes one of the negligent. As one of the salaf said, concerning the aayah (verse)–

    “Nay! But on their hearts is the Raan (covering of sins and evil deeds) which they used to earn”

    [al-Mutaffifeen 83:14 – interpretation of the meaning] –

    Liked by 1 person

    • SubhanAllah. You are right sister. Only Allah decides whose hearts shall remain sealed and whose shall open to be filled with his light.

      It is just disheartening to see people going astray. Sometimes the good ones. But of course, only Allah knows the good, the bad and the best.

      May we all be on the straight path and steadfast always.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. bluespiritmuslimah says:

    Born Muslims even have a choice. A choice to walk on the right path or a choice to disobey their Lord and abandon His commands. Lara is mentally disturbed from what you have told she doesn’t seem to understand how to react and when.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Wow you need to write books I will read every one of them!!! I loved this post it was funny too, material life is painfully boring ha poor girl May Allah make you a means for her to be guided and reward you for your patience I learned a lot! I tried giving Dawah to some Born-Muslims 😬 this discouraged me a lot for some time at my local mosque. Someone really upset me May Allah forgive them and Myself. But your words motivates me to not fear it and Go back to being of service to Allah regardless if Muslim or Non-Muslims hurt my feelings. JazzakAllah kheir💖

    Like

    • As salamu alai kum.

      *blush blush*. Jazakillah khair for your kind words. Humbles me.

      Yes I know material life can never give us permanent peace and satisfaction. Ameen to your duas. I understand it can be disheartening when dawah/reminder backfires. We go like, what wrong did we do? In the worst case scenario we are only speaking our point out (from non muslim view). How can that be bad? Don’t buy it if you disagree.

      Anyway, people do it just for the heck of it. And sometimes it is just because their conscious ticks that what we are saying is correct. Perhaps they panic at it.

      I am glad you liked it. ❤ wa antum fa jazakumullahu khayran. May Allah always reward you. Ameen

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Masha’Allah, very…very beautiful Sis! I really admire your work in da’wah. May Allah keep you as well, and reward your nice efforts. Ameen. That’s very true, doing da’wah is not easy, but Allah will help His servants whom help islam.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Assalamu’alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu sister!
    I’ve observed from my experiences that when it comes to Islam people have an attention span of maximum ten minutes, beyond that they hardly pay any attention (I have no idea why). Just an observation I could be wrong. I have cousins who aren’t that practising, as in with regard to hijab and talking to the opposite gender etc. They have the misconception that Islam is just about the five daily prayers and fasting in Ramadan. So whenever they would come over to meet us, I couldn’t stop myself from preaching to them. It’d start off well but eventually you could see the look of disinterest on their faces. As if they couldn’t care less. I don’t know, after three to four failed attempts I almost gave up telling them anything. Honestly, it was unnerving.
    That’s when I realized that maybe what I’m telling them was a little too much for them. And perhaps taking it a step at a time would be better. Alhumdulillah it kinda worked. Now at least I don’t scare them away. LOL 😉 It also depends on the person you are giving da’wah to. And finally, of course, Alalh ‘Azza wa jal is the One who guides.

    An interesting read and a very beneficial reminder! Jazak Allah khair. 🙂 May Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala bless you with more beneficial knowledge and keep you steadfast on His Deen. Ameen! Allahumma baarik lak! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • Wa alai kumus salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.

      Yes you are right. There are many factors we need to keep in mind while giving dawah or serving a reminder. One being to see the nature of the person, and second being to take it easy- a step at a time. Also, we need to be patient and constantly remember that our Prophet (salallahu alayhi wasallam) never lost patience with the Kuffar. SubhanAllah. He is such an inspiration.

      As human, I agree I might be faltering on many occasions and can only seek guidance from Allah. He is the only One who can guide a person. All we can do is try and make dua.

      Jazakillah khair for sharing your experience and thoughts. I am glad it helped your family. Haha. Yes, I know people do run away. Rofl.

      May Allah reward you with even better. Wa antum fa jazakumullahu khayran.

      Liked by 2 people

      • So true! 🙂 Alhumdulillah we have an example in our Rasool (sallAllahu ‘alaihi wa sallam). Every time I read a hadith or a part of his blessed seerah I’m in awe of the way he dealt with various situations. I mean it’s just beautiful. Subhan’Allah we have a long way to go. 🙂 I believe opportunities like these (one you mentioned in your post) will help us improve our eeman and also the way we deal with people insha’Allah. May the peace and blessings of Allah ta’aala be on him. Ameen to your dua! ❤

        Liked by 1 person

  6. izza ifzaal says:

    MashaAllah amazing post. I believe in good intentions as well and that’s what is mattered to Allah tallah. Lovely post. ALLAH HUM SAB KO HIDAYAT DEY,AMEEN 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

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