my journey as a revert muslimah

A Step at a Time

Bismillahir Rahmaanir Raheem.

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As salamu alai kum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.

Ramadhan is here! Yes, I too am excited like you. Ramadhan last year was a learning experience for me. It changed me a lot as a muslimah. Subhanallah. This month last year, healed me. For I know, I overcame depression with the help of Allah (subhana wa ta’aala) alone. It is hard to believe that a year has gone by and I still hold that month so close to my heart. Very often, I look back and feel thankful for having gained so much in this year. Indeed, closeness to Allah (subhana wa ta’aala) is what I am most thankful for. Isn’t it a mercy in itself that you are able to comprehend His (subhana wa ta’aala) blessings?

Say: O My servants who have transgressed against their own souls, despair not of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Most Forgiving, Most Merciful. (Surah az-Zumar 39:53) 

Soon after Ramadhan, I joined my workplace in August. A new place embarked the beginning of me as a hijabi. You may read about how I started wearing the hijab here. Though I was very unhappy when I had joined, I left as a happy person. I resigned in February to come back home thereafter. As time passed, I realised perhaps that office was the best place for me to start my journey as a new Muslim. Not every place has people as accepting and welcoming. This place gave me confidence, which served a foundation for me to walk out in an Islamic attire.

It was in that Ramadhan that I started writing. For a person who used to write a story annually only because my father pushed us (my sister and me) to write for a local magazine, it is hard to believe that she wrote regularly for almost a year. Alhamdulillah! All good is from Allah (subhana wa ta’aala).

Everything has a purpose. My sister and I detested writing for those magazines; and after she left for higher education, she pretty much stopped writing. Alhamdulillah, however due to the advent of internet, I could not escape. The editor till date mails me a month before the magazine’s release to contribute. Had they not brushed me all these years, I would never have even remotely wanted to pen down my thoughts. It truly awes me when (by the mercy of Allah), I find a flow of thoughts and ideas in my head at any point of time. I remember taking weeks to even come up with a single idea annually (framing it was another affair)!

Little did I know that I would come such a long way. In this year that passed, I met sisters and friends so close to my heart. It is funny that I used to think myself to be the only revert to Islam in India. This notion too was removed, and slowly in my life dripped in like raindrops beautiful revert sisters. Alhamdulillah, all of them are so much in love with Allah and are truly striving towards Him. Then, I also came across a few sisters who were born into the deen but are struggling against cultural barriers to stand by the truth.

Verily, you (O Muhammad) guide not whom you like, but Allah guides whom He wills. And He knows best those who are the guided.”

[Al-Qasas, 28:56]  

Each one’s story is an inspiration. It is indeed amazing how Allah (subhana wa ta’aala ) turns His slaves towards Himself and how once His slave falls in love with Him, nothing on earth seems better than Al Wadud, The Most Loving. From amongst these sisters, I got the opportunity to meet a few. The excitement of spotting that girl in hijab and running to embrace each other is an absolute high! We spoke as if we are meeting for the hundreth time, wherein it was just the first. As time passed, gradually, we learnt together, laughed together, cried together and continue to be inspired together. The love we carry is the most special for it is a bond for Allah’s pleasure.

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Alhamdulillah, I also came across a few learned and mature sisters from whom I learnt about deen. They were my guide, well wishers and inspiration.

I learnt. I learnt what it means to be Muslim in true essence. I learnt that it is important to constantly improve. I learnt how important it is to be conscious of your sins and to repent over them. Indeed, guilt is a sign of imaan and a mercy of Allah (subhana wa ta’aala). I learnt it is important to attain knowledge and knowledge from right sources. How important it is to be obedient to Allah and how walking on His path keeps us guided and our life sorted. Understanding even bits of Quran is healing. I learnt that a believer never despairs and that no person ever escapes from the purview of our Maker.

Alhamdulillah, a sister introduced me to easier means of learning via applications in the play store. Audio apps of speakers and scholars! Learning could be fun and cheap!! Subhanallah. Gradually some speakers became my favourites and I found myself laughing while learning! The Magnificent Quran started getting a little more clear as a scholar narrated it into my mind. I came to know about this amazing thing called tafseer. I found myself standing in Uncle Scrooge’s locker, amidst the wealth of knowledge.

Then, I told my parents. Finally. I told them. Despite every hardship we went through, I know the fact that I was not the only one facing hard times. They were in turmoil too. Even though, there were times we thought differently, I know they are my heros! Even though I fail many a times to upkeep Islamic standards in behaving with them, they have not once failed in upkeeping their standards! Classy and sophisticated as always! 💜 Their hearts eased and more often than not, we have arrived on consensus on conflicting matters. Alhamdulillah. Who is the One who eases hearts? Who is the Manager of all our affairs? We here make dua, but things will be as they have to be. Indeed everything happens for our best. At present I am living with them and Alhamdulillah, have never felt more blessed to have these two beings as mine. (# please make dua for their guidance)

For the first time, I do not have a plan. I do not know what I will be doing next year or where I will be. I didn’t know last year that I would be here now! This year has brought with it unexpected moments. The year that went has brought me immense joy and learning Alhamdulillah. This year helped me sort the gems in my life and truly taught me the essence of life. Even though I don’t know what lies ahead, for the first time I am not scared. Alhamdulillah, the heart finds peace and it trusts Allah’s plan. We can strive but we cannot decide. In shaa Allah, whatever shall happen shall be the best for me.

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As Ramadhan starts, I feel very apprehensive. I see many revert sisters feeling the same apprehension. The apprehension of fasting with family around. I still haven’t told my family about fasting in the coming days and I only hope that they accept it with ease. I hope every sister of mine is able to keep every fast in the days to come. As I read innumerable posts about ‘easy meals for suhoor’, ‘Quran reading chart’, ‘Ramadhan targets’ etc., I feel sorry for sisters who are struggling with basic fasting. Indeed, we have to be kind to our parents. They do not know that fasting is the easiest in Ramadhan, that there is blessings in suhoor and so much barakah, that the heart is deep into ibadah this month, that there is so much peace and tranquility whilst fasting. From their eyes, it is their toddler (yes toddler!) at the risk of getting dehydrated in the harsh summers. Make dua and try speaking kindly (this is for me too). This is our jihad. In Shaa Allah, Allah will ease their hearts and our affairs.

Indeed, no one despairs of relief from Allah except the disbelieving people. (Surah Yusuf 12:87)

Subhanallah, this month is back again. I am looking forward to see how I change in the days to come. I hope and pray that each one of us grows to be a better Muslim and a true servant of Allah. I hope we become kinder, softer and more humble. I pray we repent to wash away all our sins, that He (subhana wa ta’aala) forgives us and that we store our ties of kinship. I pray that more and more people from humanity enter into the folds of Islam. I pray ease for all our brothers and sisters in ummah facing hard times, especially the likes in Gaza, Burma etc.

Please as you make dua this Ramadhan, remember me in a small moment. May you be rewarded with best in dunya and akhirah. May you have a rewardful Ramadhan and may we all meet in Jannatul firdous. Ameen 💜  💞  💞

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Uncategorized

Hope Nursery e-Book

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This Ramadhan we are fundraising for Hope Nursery in Turkey. Based on the Turkish-Syrian border, this nursery caters for 70 children and is in dire need of support to keep the  facility open. We are proud to launch this 125 page e-book packed full of:

Goals listDaily checklist Daily recipe Action of the day Facts on Sunnah foods Personal development essays

Purchase your copy for just£4.99! All profit will be donated straight to the nursery via Doctor’s Worldwide.

 

Read more about the e-book here. We also welcome donations at:

www.justgiving.com/Hopenursery

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Excerpts from my life

To forgive but not forget…

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In 2009, I left my home to join law school in a different city. I remember how happy I was. I felt free. Free from all the restrictions, rules and naggings of my parents. There was a relief as that was the end of all my arguments with mother. My father wouldn’t be around, to force me to sleep early and wake up early. No more of those vegetables, milk and meals to be gulped. I could eat what I liked to, enjoy as much as I wanted, use internet, bunk lectures.. absolute freedom!

I put up in a paying guest accommodation along with seven other girls. Alhamdulillah, each of us bonded very well with each other. Being in law school seemed far better than my high school. However, just a month after my admission, the swine flu scare started. It was simply all over the media- newspapers, television, posters, radio etc. If anyone sneezed in a public place, the look of people around him was worth a click!

I still remember the date, it was the 4th of August, 2009. I woke up with burning eyes, sore throat and body ache. Since we had early morning lectures, we had Raisha to wake all of us up for classes. That morning, when she came she realized that I was burning with fever. Very soon I had two girls- Raisha and Payal placing cold strips on my forehead. They were kind to give me breakfast and medications. Alhamdulillah.

However, as my condition worsened, everyone started receding. Everyone was wearing the surgical masks and stayed in a separate room. Very soon, they came to the conclusion that I have swine flu and I should be admitted to the hospital immediately. In my city, one Venky hospital was dealing with all swine flu cases. So there I was sent, meeting doctors and Alhamdulillah, he said I just have flu and not “the swine flu”.

However, when I happily informed my roommates of it, they insisted that I get it cross verified. Thus, I visited two more doctors that day and both gave me a clean chit. One of them injected me with paracetamol which brought down my temperature immediately. Subhanallah! She was one sweet doc.

Meanwhile, my parents too were informed about my illness, much against my request since I did not want them to be worried if it was a casual flu. The entire day thus, they were in continuous touch and worried about my whereabouts. On one occasion, I remember Dad asking whether he should send Mom over here. I refused since I already was a lot better and travelling 2000 kilometers is a tiresome affair. I assured him that my friends are there and we ought not to bother Mom for nothing.

I came back from the clinics jumping and chirping like my old self. I truly was exhausted but very relieved. However, the moment I entered, there was an air of awkwardness. Everyone gave hesitant smiles, whispered amongst each other, gave suspicious looks and the moment i entered a room, all coversation would sieze leading to an eerie silence. I did not know what it was about but I felt like an outsider for a while. I decided to ignore and hop into my bed. That day has to be ended! However, there was more to that day.

Close friends, that Day, will be enemies to each other, except for the righteous”, [Surah Az Zukhruf, 43:67]

At about 11pm, everyone came into my room and stood in a straight line, nudging each other to speak first. You know, how guilty kids stand in line to confess it to mommy! They declared that they think I have swine flu and I must be admitted into the hospital! (Hello! Doctor told me I am fine. It would be better for the world if lawyers stick to law).

I was very frustrated at that moment. I wanted to go up to their face and sneeze repeatedly right on their noses to beat the ghost out of them. (That would have freaked them out totally and perhaps they would get themselves admitted before they get their first sneeze. Their body language made it evident that they knew they are doing wrong, but speaking otherwise would make that one go against the ‘team’.

In the worst of times you know whom Allah subhana wa ta’aala has set in your speedial list? Yes, your superman. Within a moment I called up Dad.

– daddy everyone is leaving tomorrow morning
-suddenly?
-yes
-ok. Dont worry. Take rest. I’ll think of something

I was made to sleep alone that night. I was told to use only one washroom, to not keep my plates in the kitchen sink, and the one thing left was to not breathe the same air as them. In sometime, I got a sms from Dad

-“dont worry, mummy and I love you and are always there for you”

That’s it. Life sorted. This gave me some peace and I could sleep.

I woke up hale and hearty the next morning. Subhanallah. Poor girls had to take the trouble to pack luggage and leave as they had already announced it. I was there sipping coffee and having chips watching them go. Nobody told a bye, they just left. Raisha, however changed her mind overnight. She told me that her dad (a friend of my dad) spoke to her and asked her not to leave. She said she felt the same as it is inappropriate to dessert friends at the time of need. It was an unexpected move, but yes it did move me. Subhanallah for goodness. I offered her some chips in exchange.

And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age (while) with you, say not to them (so much as), “uff,” and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word.”, [Al Isra, 17:23]

You know when you are ill who gets sickest in her guts? That superwoman who works for ages to set you right, yet you remain a complete mess without her. Indeed, you got it right. My mother nevertheless, travelled the 2000 kms and reached that evening. My local guardian, Uncle Joseph called me up when he learnt about my health and even dropped mother home from the airport. Kind friends.

With mother around, the last few strong germs got scared and left very soon. Alhamdulillah, I was granted shifaa but Dr. Mommy diagnosis was on for a lot longer than that! Who else would travel through the clouds thousands of kilometer and spend all those grands just because you have a running nose in another city? I know she would have come beating all security even if I was in Netherlands that time! Subhanallah

She stayed till my college announced a month long vacation and we booked tickets to leave for home soon after. The month that followed was Alhamdulillah one of my best.

Later, one evening when dad and I were sitting in our lawn under the clear starry sky and sharing a conversation, he asked

– “why do you think your friends left?”

My mind had a lot of things. Grudges, bad memories, the feeling of being deserted etc. However, a patient thinking actually made me put myself in their shoes. Indeed, the media had hiked swine flu scare by manifold.

– ” I don’t know maybe they were scared.”, was all I could conclude

– “hmmm, take a lesson from this experience. Everyone stays during good times, but during bad times very few do. Cherish such friends. Also, learn to forgive ones who don’t. Forgive them but don’t Forget this experience.”

This small experience taught me many things. I learnt, it doesnt matter which friend comes first in your life or whom you’ve known the longest, what matters is who stands beside you in hard times. I owe this one to Raisha.

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My other friends did apologise later and Alhamdulillah, I could let go the matter, though the episode does make me smile now. I guess they were not mature enough to deal with the situation. Neither was I.

I learnt that even if u cant help, you should atleast try to be there for others in times of hardship irrespective of whether they are close or not.

Most importantly, I learnt to value my parents. No matter what, they love me unconditionally. They were the ones who came running to me without any second thought. And one final lesson, “to forgive but not forget.”

Rasul Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said: “A believer does not allow himself to be stung twice from one (and the same) hole.” [Bukhari]

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Awards

The Free Style Writing Challenge!

So I have been nominated for a very interesting writing challenge by Impeccable’mua. I adore her blog. It is so so so interesting and her thoughts are beautiful. She is an intelligent blogger and a mother to a beautiful baby 🙂 Please do visit her amazing blog. This post sure has been long due!

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The concept of free style writing revolves around the central idea of putting down words that may or may not relate to a particular topic and within a certain time period regardless of spelling or perhaps also grammar. .

So here goes the RULES of this challenge:

1) Open an MS Word document 

2) Set a stop watch or your mobile to 5 minutes or 10 minutes whichever challenge you think you can beat.

3) You topic is at the foot of this post. But do not scroll down to see it until you are ready with the timer

4) Fill the word doc with as much words as you want. Once you began writing do not stop even to turn. Do not cheat by going back and correcting spellings and grammar with spell check in MS WORD.

5) You may or may not pay attention to punctuation and capitals. However if you do, it would be best.

6) At the end of your post write down ‘No. Of words =_____’ so that we would have an idea of how much you can write within the time frame.

7) Do not forget to copy paste the entire passage on your blog post with a new Topic for your nominees and copy paste these rules with your nominations (at least 5 bloggers).

GOOD LUCK!

My Topic – WATCHING TV
Time- 5mins

TV today has become a common household matter. It is surprising to see how people are addicted to it. It has both positive and negative aspects . wherein in positive, we may consider it as a good source of knowledge. We have channels that educate you, such as fox life , discovery, national geographic , history etc. So whilst sitting at home, I am able to travel all over the world and enjoy all sorts of cuisine. Alhamdulillah.

However, I see that today it is more of a vice. In the Indian scenario, mostly people today are addicted to daily soaps. They are rightly called soaps for all they do is brainwashing. Women are stereotyped in it and no matter how the plot begins, it eventually reaches a stage where the vamo wants revenge from the main protagonist and is after her life all day.

On the other hand, we also have news channels which are good to watch and the media also has its both pros and con’s. Depends on what you watch. Today we see that media has a major role in framing our thoghtb process. Thi, the world today is a global community. No country is really far.

However I feel the quality of life has come down. People have become couch potatoes and do not interact with their folks. Which is sad because it affects relations and harms our social skulks. We need to lean how to get off the addiction and

Words: 246

Hey! It was fun. I must admit there were at least 5-8 more spelling errors which MS Word auto-corrected. Good try 🙂

My Nominees are

1) The Revert Miyabhai– because I love you

2) Just Bliss– a beautiful author with many amazing tales to share and a beautiful take on life. I have a lot of love and respect for her

3) Christal Blogs- my new found sister and friend in Islam. A revert to Islam and very wise with a lot of intelligent words to share.

4) Striving Muslimah – a sweet angel she is and her blog is a collection of brilliant articles

5) Khamosh dhadkanen – now her poetry is class apart. A beautiful poetess and even better a person, a mother and sister to me 🙂

Looking forward to your posts. Do tag me once done. Oh and your topic. Your topic is “To be a practising Muslimah

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Awards

Allergic to E Challenge

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I was nominated for the Allergic to ‘E’ Challenge by my co-blogger Transcend. It is a beautiful blog and I insist that you must have a read through. Thank you so much. This seems to be a bit hard to crack challenge and I sure am feeling a bit apprehensive. For the sake of fun, let’s do it 🙂

First, here are the rules for this challenge:

1) Write a whole paragraph ( a paragraph sounds easy right?) without any word containing the letter “e” (still easy for ya?)
2) By reading this you are already signed up.
3) Challenge at least five bloggers to do the challenge. They must do it within 24 hours or it is considered as failure.
4) If you fail or pass, suffer in the Page of Lame.
5) If you win, wallow in the Page of Fame.
6) You can check your standings on my menu Your Standings

Here I Begin:

It is hard to jot down a paragraph this way. I will still try for it. I am trying to study from today morning. Indian constitution is too long and tough. I got through it last night though and now I am studying contracts law. I am fond of contracts law. It is amazing and good.
I am lazing a bit now and thus, using this application to pass hours. Thus, this paragraph writing is amusing as of now. My mom is making potato curry and chapatti for lunch. Subhanallah, It is too hot in my city. My room is still cool as I shut all doors and windows today at noon. I am so thankful Allah for millions of gifts and our AC. Alhamdulillah, for all good. Drinking liquids is fun nowadays. I was making mango lassi and it was yummy. You must try it too. It is good for our body and mango is all around bazaars. Curd too is commonly found. Just whip mango pulp, cardamon, half a cup milk and curd. So cool! What I am writing is so random. I am laughing at my own paragraph. It won’t shock us if you shut and block this post half way through it. Haha. My hair is black and sky is…. Oops! I wish it rains soon. Sight from my window is truly blissful. Birds chirping around. Just not using ‘that thing’ is disturbing my mind so much! I cannot stop chuckling. I truly cannot jot down anything now. My mind is now in a block and this is a mind boggling task. Alas, I stop at this point. Allahuakbar, Thank you!

My nominations are as follows:

1) The Happy Lifeaholic
2) Food Abuse
3) The Revert Miyabhai
4) Sister Fatmawaty
5) Sisterofislam30

6) Khamosh Dhadkanen

Looking forward to your posts!! Phew am done.

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Excerpts from my life, my journey as a revert muslimah, Tell-a-Tale

We Have Been Made Beautifully, Haven’t We?

Originally posted in Me Muslima

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It is just another sultry afternoon.There is virtually nothing to do. I have been sitting like a log since the past thirty minutes- leaning on the sofa, legs stretched, with a book on my lap and my mobile on the table. What does one do on such a day? Just as I was glancing across the room, my eyes fall on my foot. My toe nail. 

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my journey as a revert muslimah

To be a Part of The Ummah

Originally posted in The Muslim Bricks

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Entering into the folds of Islam as a new Muslim brings with it many thoughts, expectations, hopes and aspirations. However, as time passes, the initial zeal starts to evaporate. Seeps in certain amount of despair and apprehension. Different reverts have different requirements. Alhamdulillah, there are some who easily adapt Islam as a part of their lives and parallely carry on with professional and social life….

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