An Unworthy Compromise

An Unworthy Compromise- Part 3

#An Inspired Tale

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Coffee is therapeutic! A short pause prevailed as we sipped the glory. Makes me wonder how life in this dunya would have been without so many mercies that we enjoy. What if the dunya was only full of tests and struggles? Alhamdulillah, for the blessings in which we seek joy. I waited for Aleena to enjoy her beverage before she continued.

– ” so where were we?”

-” you both exchanged photographs.”, I briefed.

-” hmmm, yeah. So he hinted that he was fine with the photographs and that we could seriously involve our parents into this. The next time I messaged him, he told me he was busy with an international convention and was representing his college. It was already a week, and he said he hasn’t heard from his mother yet. I, on this side, had already spoken to my family and they felt we were pretty much on the same page. Alhamdulillah, they decided to proceed with the matter.”

– ” so your father spoke to him? “, I asked

– ” ahaan, the second time I dropped a message he informed me that he is busy with exams and this kept repeating. I knew either he or his family were viewing my profile often, since his name showed in my profile’s ‘recently viewed’ list. Finally after a couple of weeks, my wali messaged him to proceed with the matter if it interests him as the matter has been stretching a bit too much!”

– “and what did he say?”

-” This was his reply-

    ‘  Wa alaikum assalaamu wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,

      Jazakallahu khayran for being patient with this. I happened to speak to my parents today and after great deliberation we thought its best to not proceed with this matter.
       I certainly think Aleena would make a great spouse and its really unfortunate that matters couldn’t proceed.

        I pray that Allah grants her the best match at the earliest.

     ~Aadil.‘ ”

With a crooked view, Aleena looked into my face. I say ‘into’, because she was trying to study the thoughts going behind it.

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I was in two minds after reading this message. At one place things seem to be going fine until he refused. The delay and postponement in replying did bring a hint of doubt but in the long run I thought it wasn’t a big deal. People say no for marriages right? For a while I thought all Aleena needs is counselling to accept this decision of his.

I put my hands on her’s and prepared myself to soothe her, “Aleena babe, it is always Allah’s decree. I agree things seemed to be going smoothly but you need to….”

– “Don’t you conclude Zobia.”, Aleena snapped ,” of course I was disappointed. You know in terms of dunya, audhubillah, he wasn’t a good looking person either. Of course, Allah has made all of us beautifully, and it is mankind who has limited beauty to tall, fair and slim. But only for the pleasure of Allah, I decided to carry on with the matter because I felt we could do great work in deen In Shaa Allah. However, this wouldn’t disturb me until a few weeks after his last message he sent me this message-

      ‘ As salamu alai kum Aleena, I hope this message finds you in great health and imaan. I understand that things didn’t work out and I only thought that I must explain my behaviour. My mother has worked very hard to bring me up and her opinion is very important to me in every aspect of my life. The girl I marry, I wish her to take good care of my mother and In Shaa Allah, my mother should like her. However, our thoughts in aspects of deen are very different. Alhamdulillah, we belong to a high profile society and she desires to have a daughter in law who is active with her in her social circles and fits well into it. From within, I don’t approve of this as I know it is a major clash between deen and dunya. However, I am her only son and I am indebted to her for all the love she has given me. May you find a pious spouse for yourself. Ameen. ‘ ”

I could see Aleena’s fist clench the phone as she read it out. I could see the big question on her face that why was he registered in matrimonyofdeen123 at all! Was he trying to find a combination of a woman who is into deen- dawah at day and then attends parties at night? Someone who wears niqab in the day and removes her hijab later? Alhamdulillah, we felt sad for Aadil. We felt sad that he claims to keep deen as priority but perhaps even he is not aware that unknowingly, life of dunya is what regulates his choice of a spouse.

People have made nikah so complicated and zina so easy! Audubillah. It is not rare where children of moderate Muslims are a lot more practising. Their beard, dressing choices, hijab and insistence of a halal lifestyle is not approved by their family. Audhubillah! It embarrasses them. It is surprising how people born into Muslim families find it embarrassing to follow the rules of Allah! Amongst innumerable hurdles that the youth faces in these scenario, choice of spouse is the most crucial one. I say so, because you are the one who has to live with your spouse and it is your deen that will get better or worse with your spouse. Subhanallah, it is disheartening to see parents compromising on the compatibility and happiness of their child for a few words of appreciation from the people of dunya. Why would anyone want their child to compromise akhirah for the dunya!

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It took me a few sessions to counsel the disheartened Aleena. The other side of the coin is that in such scenarios we need to have sabr and accept qadr. Indeed being rejected for materialism can be humiliating but doesn’t Allah say that Good men are for good women. Both of us were in consensus that being married in his house would have made practising deen difficult for her. Perhaps, Aadil feels too obliged to his mother that he did not take a stand to complete half his deen, how ever would he do justice between his wife and mother? Certain matters are best left to Allah. Alhamdulillah, indeed He is the best disposer of affairs! Indeed, Allah has better in store for her In Shaa Allah.

“But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not.”

(Surah Al Baqarah, 2:216)

_______________________________
The End.

Author’s note:

As salamu alai kum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh my family in Islam,
I hope you’ll enjoyed reading this and that this post benefits us, In Shaa Allah.
Honestly, I was very nervous about posting this one as the storyline was very ordinary and something which many experience very often. Alhamdulillah, I was glad with the response that it has got and I hope the ending stood up to your expectations.
I would like to thank a few people (all names changed). Firstly, Zobia, who with consent of Aleena shared the story as she thought it is important that the youth dealing with it knows about this issue. Next, I have to admit that I have the three best editors one could ever get. Each one of them thoroughly goes through every story of mine and their feedback is the reason why I get better and post better. (You can see obvious differences in what I wrote a year back to how I write today. Alhamdulillah, it is due to my these sisters). Jazakiallah khair for inspiring me and pushing me when I hit the writer’s block! Indeed all good is from Allah and all bad is from me.

And Jazakallah khair to you my dear reader. Every comment and every read means a lot to me.

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30 thoughts on “An Unworthy Compromise- Part 3

  1. Dear, as I read first time, I guessed that you were talking about yourself,, 😃 but, no I was wrong. I was worried that you really registered to that site to find the spouse,, I’m sorry for my bad thought. It was truly great stories . So many lessons here. Jazakillah khoir for writing it. You should write the stories again, my love!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Omg sis I loved this story! Jazakillah khair for writing it! This is something I been through and many people I know are going through subhanAllah. I totally related to both Adil and Aleena and how they both must be feeling. It’s hard when you try and keep your mum happy and I know from experience that if she doesn’t like the daughter in law it’s super difficult for the son. I’ve been told that I have to take my abaya off because it’s “only my brother in laws” and that I was “too educated” so I wouldnt be a good daughter in law.
    So alhamdulillah I’m glad you wrote this as more people need to know what’s important when choosing a spouse for themselves or their children. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Wa antum fa Jazakumullahu khayran sister.

      Yes. Sadly it is indeed a very common thing in our society today. It becomes tougher for both the guy and girl in such cases. Allah knows best whom men like Aadil will marry but eventually the woman will get churned to stand up to the expectations of her uptown mother in law and deeni husband. May Allah protect us all.

      It is sad that you have been through such occurrences. It actually is very disheartening for people who are seriously looking into deen.

      May Allah make it easy for u. Jazakiallah khair for sharing your story!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Thank you for sharing this story. It is, like you said, happening in several households. When Muslims confuse or mix religion with culture. It becomes a bad habit. But May Allah protect our ummah. JazakiAllah khair.

    Like

    • Alhamdulillah, I guess she must be doing better. However, I am not aware of her identity since her counsellor maintained absolute confidentiality. Alhamdulillah, but am sure there are many brothers and sisters who go through this and will definitely appreciate your words. Motivating 🙂

      Like

  4. Thasneem Fathima says:

    Masha ALLAH…. It’s very important to compensate on both the world’s… Dunya and Aakhira… May ALLAH Guide us in Right Path…

    I became your fan… Masha ALLAH… 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Wa antum fa Jazakumullahu khayran dear sister.

      I agree with you. But isn’t man imperfect? And doesn’t every son of Adam sin. Audhubillah, so many times we are overpowered by our nafs. Indeed constant reminders are so important but the best part is to know that the doors of repentance is always open.

      Subhanallah. May we all be guided on the righteous path. Jazakiallah khair for taking your precious time out for dropping this message. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  5. habibty says:

    Subhan Allah!!! AlhamduLillah!!! my dearest sis a beautiful post!! Jazakumullahu khairan A great lesson to be learnt from the above post ( the true reality of the life of this dunya). We should always do that which pleases Our Rabb, Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala alone and not please the Creation that way we will experience true success in our worldly life and in the Akhirah In Shaa Allah Ameen.

    Like

  6. izza ifzaal says:

    I loved the ending and indeed good women will get good men InshaaAllah!! Yeah i was excited for the third part.. JAZAK Allah for writing..
    Can you tell me about writers block ??Is it a page? ?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Wa antum fa Jazakumullahu khayran Izza.

      Jazakiallah khair for being appreciative! I feel humbled.
      Writers block, as far as my understanding goes, is a situation that writers experience often. You have a plot/idea/theme in your head but you just don’t find words to pen them properly and frame them into an article or story. And it can get quite frustrating you see because at times you have multiple ideas that you want to write but your mind is simply blocked! 🙂

      Have you ever experienced this?

      Liked by 2 people

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