IOU Assignments- informations., Islam

The Divorce: Part 1

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Bismillahir Rahmaanir Raheem.

I remember watching a teleshow long back where a muslim man uttered “talaq” thrice and his wife became the damsel in distress. The child in me was abhorred. My heart went out for all muslim women and I felt proud to be born in a hindu household. At least my dad will never do that to my mum.

That is how media is teaching us about Islam today. The sad part is that not only non-Muslims, even Muslims today are resorting to media to learn about Islam. The result? We see a widespread debate over triple talaq today. What surprises me, is the Indian courts and non-muslim public says that triple talaq is cruel, whereas many promiment people from amongst the muslim are striving to upkeep this practise.

Why? why are we in such a miserable situation? Why are we taking religion from any other source other than Qur’an and hadith? Why amidst all the chaos, the one place you forgot to check about the Islamic laws was the Qur’an? May Allah ease the affairs of the ummah.

Subhanallah, our local masjid here has been delivering khutba every jumu’ah on women’s rights in Islam. They have beautifully covered how women open doors to Paradise for her parents, husband and children. Previous jumu’ah the topic was the very controversial issues of talaq, iddat and halala.

Pre-Islamic times witnessed divorce being used as a tool for harassing women. The men would divorce women and then would take them back soon after. Neither did they allow the women to live peacefully post divorce, nor did they look after them after taking them back.

It was under these circumstances that Allah revealed the divine laws of divorce. Women were given the right of khula and men received the right of talaq. Allah says in the Qur’an:

الطَّلَاقُ مَرَّتَانِ ۖ فَإِمْسَاكٌ بِمَعْرُوفٍ أَوْ تَسْرِيحٌ بِإِحْسَانٍ ۗ

Divorce is twice. Then, either keep [her] in an acceptable manner or release [her] with good treatment. [Surah Baqarah, 229]

Thus, the matter of divorce was made more grave and recurrence of it to trouble women was stopped.

Two Roads to Choose:
Allah then commands the Prophet (صلي الله عليه وسلم) and through him the entire ummah, that when they divorce their wives, they must not rush by not adhering to the commandments of Allah (Surah At-Talaq, 1).

Allah says, when the iddat is coming to an end, a man may take two ways-

  • He may either leave her so that she is free to live her life and marry someone else if she so wishes or,
  • He may choose to get back with her and amend the marital ties.

Thus, if he decides to take her back he must do with due respect and dignity. A person who takes her back to oppress her is indeed a zaalim and will receive great humiliation from Allah (subhana wa ta’ala). Similarly, if he decides to leave her, he has been commanded to leave her with due kindness without causing any humiliation or abuse. To maintain clarity in the matter of divorce or reconciliation, Allah has advised to take two men of repute as witnesses (Surah At-Talaq, 2). .

To Joke about divorce:
It has been recorded in At-Tirmidhi [1] that the messenger of Allah (صلي الله عليه وسلم) said that there are three things which when joked about become binding on the speaker

  • To joke about nikah
  • To joke about divorce
  • To joke about taking back ones wife.

Some narrations from sahabis including Umar and Ali (radiallahu anhum) say the three things are nikah, divorce and manumission.

Allah prohibits us from joking about the verses of Qur’an (Surah at-Tawbah, 65-66) and to denounce a gathering where it is done (Surah an-Nisa, 140). Therefore nobody can perform a nikah, consummate the marriage and declare the next day that he was joking. The woman he married, will nevertheless will be called his wife. Similarly, one cannot pronounce divorce and say that he was joking. Divorce is a matter that must be taken seriously keeping the consequences in mind.

The Procedure of Talaq aka a bit about Triple Talaq

Ibn Abbas (radiallahu anhu) reported that pronouncements of three divorce during the lifetime of Allah’s messenger (صلي الله عليه وسلم)  and of Abu Bakr and two years of the caliphate of Umar (radiallahu anhum) was treated as one. However, after that people started giving talaq frivolously. Thus, to curb this trend, Umar imposed upon them to treat three talaq in one breath as an irrevocable divorce  (Sahih Muslim). Additionally, it is interesting to note that Abdullah Ibn Masud and Zubayr (radiallahu anhum) advised Umar bin Khattab against this.

Similar narrations by Abu Sahba (radiallahu anhu) has been recorded in Muslim. The irony of the day is that Muslims choose to ignore the trend during the time of Prophet (صلي الله عليه وسلم) . Do you and I know better about those times than Ibn Abbas (radiallahu anhu)? The ruling of triple talaq at one go was merely imposed for exceptional circumstancial necessity of that age.

It has been recorded in Musnad Ahmed, that Rukana once came distressed to the Prophet stating that he had divorced his wife but regretted it. The Prophet (صلي الله عليه وسلم) asked him how he had divorced her. He said he by pronouncing three divorces in one setting. Thereby, the Prophet told him that he may take his wife back as this will amount to just one utterance of divorce and Rukana did so [3].

Another narration by Mahmud bin Labid states that a man uttered divorce thrice to his wife in one sitting. When the messenger of Allah (صلي الله عليه وسلم) heard this, he angrily stood up saying, “the Book of Allah is being made the subject of jest while I am still amongst you”. A man immediately stood up seeking permission whether he should kill that man. [4]

Hence, the triple talaq in one sitting is called talaq-ul-bidaat — an innovation that is against the procedure prescribed by Allah. Therefore, between every talaq there must be a waqf (i.e a period of iddah). Any number of pronouncements at one time would sum up to one pronouncement.

Women must be divorced during the prescribed period. Muslim recorded that Ibn-Umar (radiallahu anhu) reported that he divorced is wife while she was menstruating. Umar bin Khattab asked the Messenger (صلي الله عليه وسلم) about it and this angered the Prophet. He commanded ibn-Umar to take her back and divorce her when she is clean from it. When she again enters menstruation and is clean from it again, he may divorce her again.  However, the condition is that he must not have had intercourse with her during that period. After this he may keep her or divorce her for the final time. [5]

There is also a similar narration on the same lines in Sahih Muslim where Prophet (صلي الله عليه وسلم) continues to say that if he pronounced three talaq at one and the same time, he has disobeyed the command of Allah with regards to the procedure of divorce. But, she would be ultimately separated from him.

Another narration from Daraqutni states that Ibn-Umar asked the messenger of Allah (صلي الله عليه وسلم)whether it would be permissible for him to take his wife back if he had pronounced three divorces. The Prophet responded that the talaq would be complete and irrevocable but ibn-Umar would have earned the sin for pronouncing divorce in the wrong manner [6].

To be continued…

In the next part we will learn what Qur’an says about the period of iddat, kindness prescribed for divorced women and the process of halala In sha Allah. Click here to read Part 2.



Reference

[1] At-Tirmidhi, 1184. Graded hasan by shaikh Albani

[2] Saheeh Muslim, Book 9 hadith number 3491 (Book on Talaq, Chapter 2: Prouncement of three divorces)

[3] ‘Usmani, Umar Ahmad, (1999),  Women’s Rights in the Qur’an, Women and Modern Society, Indian: Select Books

[4] An-Nasa’i, taken from Commentary to Surah Baqara verse 229 from Tafseer Ibn Katheer

[5] Saheeh Muslim, Book 9 hadith no. 3473 (Book on Talaq, Chapter 1: Prohibition of divorcing wife during her menses)

[6] Taken from commentary on Saheeh Muslim, Book 9 hadith number 3491

Bibliography
1.
Tafseer ibn Katheer
2. As-Sa’di, Abdur-Rahmaan , (2014), Methodical Interpretation of the Noble Qur’an: Tafseer as-Sa’di, vol 10., Riyadh: Darussalam
3. Muslim, (2005), Sahih Muslim, Translated by Abdul Hamid Siddiqui, Vol. 2, India: Islamic Book Service

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Excerpts from my life

Silent Night

A chilly winter night, a warm blanket and, a cosy bed.. 

Dim lights, comforting heater, starry sky and a silent night

You lie there, staring at the nothingness of the room with your best companion- You. 

There is silence. Silence that pierces right through your conscience. Silence that forces you to think. 
 What did I ever do to deserve this? 

What did they do to deserve the harsher share? 

Silence prevails. Your heart crunches within. Only Allah knows why… 

Allah SWT says:

وَلَقَدْ مَكَّـنّٰكُمْ فِى الْاَرْضِ وَجَعَلْنَا لَـكُمْ فِيْهَا مَعَايِشَ   ؕ  قَلِيْلًا مَّا تَشْكُرُوْنَ

“And We have certainly established you upon the earth and made for you therein ways of livelihood. Little are you grateful.”

(Qur’an. Al-A’raaf: Verse 10)

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Excerpts from my life

The Okay Muslim

 

I was recalling the time when being amongst muslims was something I used to crave for. Subhanallah, how beautifully Allah azza wajal accepts our du’as. Looking back at the transition from pre-marriage to being married, makes me realise how beautifully Allah plans our life. Indeed, we need to just let it go easy at times and leave the reins of our lives. When do we realise that we can never controll everything. On the contrary, it is easier to submit.

However, being amongst muslims (Indian muslims to be specific), has come with its share of disappointments. When I was alone, I assumed muslims would be something close to what the Qur’an and Hadiths asks them to be. I assumed there would be those who do not lie, those who observe purdah, those who are respectful, honorable, immaterial and intelligent. Surprisingly, this breed is just a minority. Negligible minority.

The momins are missing!

“(such believers are) the repentant, the worshippers, the praisers (of Allah), the travelers(for His cause), those who bow and prostrate(in prayer), those who enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong, and those who observe the limits (set by) Allah. And give good tidings to the believers” [At-Tawba, 112]

 

And then there are those who are embrassed to be practising muslims. So, they choose to be “OK Muslims”. Allow me to tell you what an “ok muslim” is. An “OK Muslim” is one who-

  • is okay with his women not doing hijab
  • is okay with participating in and hosting intermixed events/ parties
  • is okay with working in banks and participating in Riba
  • is okay with having dogs as pets
  • is okay with praying qadha salah to attend someone more important
  • is okay with music
  • is okay with ignoring a command or two of Allah

but, he is

  • not okay with beard
  • not okay with niqab
  • not okay with educated women choosing to exit a mixed workplace

I met an Okay Muslim yesterday and only came back home very disheartened. Why is it that we are so ashamed of being what we are? Why is it that despite knowing how we should live, we choose to live how the society expects me to live? Thereby silently killing our fitrah- our inner self.

You, my friend, are the society. We live with assumptions. We assume that we will be better accepted if we shave of that beard. We assume that we will be proven modern if our women work discarding the hijab. We try to gain acceptibility by being like them. We dress like them, we dance like them, we talk like them and we think like them.

Why? Whose pleasure did you attain? Will the person stand by you on the day of judgment?

It is amusing how as trying-to-be-practising muslims we were carefully asked whether everyone in family was conservative. No, nobody is conservative. Everybody is just trying to be a practising muslim.

Isn’t fiqh meant to evolve with time? Being practising does not mean you are outdated. It means you are sticking to the first love of your life – Allah and the second love of your life-Rusool Allah.

“if we don’t evolve with time, then dunya me kaise chalega?(how will it work in dunya)“, I was asked.

-“we are in dunya merely for 60-70-80 years. If we do not stick to deen, akhirat me kaise chalega?”, was my reply. “Aakhirat is forever. We feel scared to bear the wrath of humans, how will be bear Allah’s wrath?.

We are always given a choice. Never can we say that I had to do it. It is upon us whether we choose that which is easy or that which is halal.

The Sahabis had a choice too: whether they join the Prophet (salallahu alayhi wasallam) in his struggle or they lead their lives their way. There were those who were guaranteed jannah by the Prophet (salallahu alayhi wasallam). They had accepted Islam, they were steady and sincere in deen but did they ever mention that it is not their business? They were there, right there, for every opportunity to serve the deen of Allah. The times when the muslims were few and kuffars were many. They chose.

What choices do we make today? despite being almost 25% of the world’s population today, we make choices against Allah and His Rusool. On this date, we are not expected to fight battles, but our jihad are these small choices that we make. The minute struggles we have to face to be a momin.”

There was silence. Everyone sat thinking. All he had to say in the end was, “I do not know how I am. But I consider myself to be an Okay muslim. A person should be flexible. Perhaps, people who accept Islam by being convinced practise more. As for us, we are muslims by chance.”.

May Allah make us all better muslims. May we be loyal servants to be in absolute submission. Ameen

 

-a not so okay Muslim

 

 

“The believers are only those, when Allah was mentioned, feel fear in their hearts and when His verses were recited unto them, they (i.e) increase their faith; and they put their trust in their Lord (Alone)” [Surah Anfal: 2]

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