Excerpts from my life, IOU Assignments- informations., Islam

The Divorce- Part 2

…Continued from Part 1:

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The Period of Iddat:
Now that the divorce has been uttered, what should the next step be?

“Ofcourse, ask her to pack her bags and leave!!”, would be an answer that most ignorant people would give. Especially in Indo-Pak where the popular trend (to imitate the kuffar) is that the man and woman separate. Sometimes, the divorce is uttered in utmost anger and the woman is humiliatingly dragged out of the house.

Allah says, “… And have taqwa of your Lord. And turn them not out of their homes nor shall they leave, except in case they are guilt of illicit sexual intercourse. And those are the set limits of Allah…” (Surah AT-Talaq, 1)

Allah warns muslims here to have fear of Him with regards to the rights of divorced wives (As-Sa’di). It the right of a muslimah to live in her matrimonial home and be provided for until she is in her iddah. The husband cannot throw her out and she cannot abandon the house as well unless the divorce was caused due to her committing adultery. (Ibn Katheer)

Allah further says, “…and whosoever transgresses the set limits of Allah, then indeed he has wronged himself” (65:1). Therefore, whoever breaches these commands of Allah, reduces his profit and wasted their share of reward (As-Sa’di).

THE Wisdom of ‘Iddah at the Husband’s House
“..You know not, it may be that Allah will afterward bring some new thing to pass”, (65:1)

😀 What does this verse say? Allah commanded the divorced wife to remain in her husband’s house during ‘Iddah, so that the husband might regret his action and Allah may renew mercy and compassion in his heart who may want to resume his marriage with his wife. Or, perhaps the wife may realise her mistake which lead to the divorce, regret it and make amends.  An ideal iddah makes it easy for reunion of husband and wife. Perhaps the reason for which the divorce occurred ceases to exist after sometime. The Iddah serves as a period of reconsideration.

One of the many wisdoms behind Iddah is to determine whether she is pregnant with his child.

Kindness:
When the period of iddat ends, the husband may

  • either take her back to live honorably with her and in good companionship, not to cause harm or intending evil by holding them against their will, because this is prohibited. or,
  • part with them in a good manner through a divorce that is free from prohibited behavior, without cursing or disputing, and without forcing her to give up some of her money (in return for being released from the marriage). ___[As-Sa’di]

Kindness to the wife is paramount irrespective of whether the husband takes her back or parts. Allah commands believers to keep two trustworthy muslim men as witnesses to ensure a healthy divorce.

The rulings and set limits of Allah mentioned here will serve as an admonition for a Believer whereas those whose hearts are devoid of faith will care less of the evil they commit.

Divorce indeed brings hardship, depression and anxiety. Allah says, those who have Taqwa (fear of and obedience to Allah), He will make a way for him to get our and provide from sources that one cannot contemplate.

Wife cannot be taken back after third divorce:
The third divorce is irrevocable. Allah said :” And if he has divorced her the third time then she is not lawful for him thereafter until she has married another husband” (Surah Baqarah, verse 230).

Wait right there before you gawk. Allow me to explain.

Men are not allowed to repeatedly divorce her and take her back. If he divorces her the third time, she is free to marry again after her iddat period. She does not owe any duty, responsibility or liability towards the man. Nor is it permissible for him to take her as a wife again by way of Nikah. So what is the solution?

I wonder why any woman would ever want to marry a man who considers her to be so trivial that he could divorce not once, twice but thrice. Why would she want a life of perpetual anxiety of whether he may drop the divorce bomb anytime without knowing whether he will take her back or leave her. Is this love at all?

Allah sets her free. Free to marry someone who would give her the love and respect that a wife deserves. She becomes impermissible to him. If she wants to live the life of a married woman, she may marry another man. Marry a momin. Run away from the man who gave you so much agony. There is no solution by which they can marry again

Is Halala a part of Islam?

“…until she marries again.” , meaning until she has legally married another man. The reason for the woman (who was divorced thrice) to marry another man must be that the man desires her and has the intention of having an extended married life with her. These are the legal goals and aims behind marriage. If the reason behind the second marriage was to make the woman eligible for her ex-husband again then this is Tahlil (Halala) that hadiths have cursed and criticised. Additionally, when the reason behind this marriage (if it was halala) is announced in the contract, it would make the contract invalid. (Ibn Katheer, commentary on 2:230)

  • It was narrated that Ibn ‘Abbas said:
    “The Messenger of Allah cursed the Muhallil and the Muhallal lahu.”
    [Sunan Ibn Majah, Vol. 3, Book 9, Hadith 1934, Grade: Sahih]
  • It was narrated that ‘Abdullah said:
    “The Messenger of Allah cursed the woman who tattoos and the one tattooed, the woman who fixed hair extensions and the one who had her hair get extended, the consumer of Riba and the one who pays it, and Al-Muhallil and Al-Muhallal Lahu.”
    [Sunan an-Nasa’i 3416, Grade: Sahih  &  Graded Hasan by Tirmidhi]

# The Muhallil is the one who marries a woman and divorces her so that she can return to her first husband, and the muhallal lahu is the first husband

# Halala/ Tahleel is marrying a woman for a specific length of time with the intention of divorcing her after that so as to make her permissible to her ex-husband who has divorced her thrice.

Tirmidhi reported, “This is what acted upon among the Companions, among whom are Umar, Uthmaan and Ibn Umar (radiallahu anhum). It was also saying of scholars of fiqh amongst the Tabi’in (second generation of Islam). Umar said, “If the participants to halala are brought to me, I will have them stoned”. Ibn Umar has been reported to equate it to adultery. [Ibn Kathir, ibid].

The system of halala has no existence in Islam or in Islamic history. The very purpose of why Allah made a woman impermissible after three divorces has been defeated and mocked.

Muta Marriages & Halala:

Allow me please to introduce a new term to you- “Muta Marriage”.

#Mut’ah or temporary marriage refers to when a man marries a woman for a specific length of time in return for a particular amount of money.

It was narrated from ‘Ali that he heard Ibn ‘Abbaas permitting mut’ah marriage, and he said, “Wait a minute, O Ibn ‘Abbaas, for the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade it on the day of Khaybar and (he also forbade) the meat of tame donkeys.” [Narrated by Muslim, 1407.] 

The basic principle of marriage is that it must be ongoing and permanent. Allah has made marriage one of His signs which calls us to think and ponder. He has created love and compassion between the spouses, and has made the wife a source of tranquility for the husband.

A man is entitled to take his wife back twice after two respective Talaqs but after that the separation is irrevocable. She is then free to be married to any other person of her choice. Therefore, if a thrice divorced wife marries another man, the intention of the man must be to keep her as his wife, give her due rights and live with love and compassion. If then in the normal course of life a dispute between them develops leading to first Talaq by the second husband, she is again free to be married to any person of her choice including the second husband (by whom she has got the first divorce) and also including the first husband as well.

The relevant point here is that a Halala cannot be planned in advance, as a Nikah between her and the second husband with an understanding of a divorce afterwards will not be valid. If she does so, it will be an illegitimate relationship with the second husband and with the first husband also with whom she comes to live after a pre-planned Halala. The Prophet (salallahu alayhi wasallam) has cursed both such men who perform Halala and for whom Halala is performed.

Conclusion:
How horrible have we reduced the status of our women to? What kind of patriarchy is this to introduce into Islam things that were never practised during the time of Prophet (salallahu alayhi wasallan) or his companions? Things that enraged them, displayed disgust and earned curses from them.

We today fail to observe the sunnahs of kindness towards wives and giving them their rights. Rather we work very hard to reduce the shariah in abusing women. We divorce them without any contemplation, do not bear our wives with patience, forgiveness is a forgotten trait, we threaten our wives with divorcee, the divorces are unruly involving harassment one cannot fathom, wives are thrown out after divorce and taken back at whims only for further abuse, we do not pay their mehr , we pronounce three divorce at once and then force her into adultery by way of halala thereby earning Allah’s wrath.

What has the ummah reduced to? Do we know more about religion of Muhammad (salallahu alayhi wasallam) than his companions? Leave aside what I say or what anyone else says for a while if you are unsure of what is right and wrong- open the books of Hadiths, open the Qur’an brothers and read what Allah asks you to do. Read what Allah wants you to be.

Read. Read my dear sisters if you do not wish to be reduced to a piece of meat.

“Iqra bismi rabbikallazi khalaq- Read in the name of your Lord who created” [Al-Alaq, verse 1]

May Allah reward you


Bibliography:

  1. Tafseer Ibn Katheer
  2. Tafseer As-Sa’di
  3. Sunnah.com for hadiths
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17 thoughts on “The Divorce- Part 2

  1. fabihafatima says:

    Asalamualiakum,
    I read both parts and Subhan’Allah beautifully written and well explained.
    When the triple talaq matter was going on in the news I was busy with my academic life and couldn’t keep up with the stories. But once my studies settled, I started exploring the matter, I have my roommate who is a non-muslim, and Triple Talaq issue is what comes again and again as a discussion between us. Sometimes I am able to explain nicely but other times I find it difficult to argue with all the blames and stuff…

    But Jazak Allah your piece of writing is helpful and motivational. I really need to study this matter closely and then of course living in India is a bit of a struggle thanks to the media and the inconvincible attitude of people poisoned more by the media.

    On one hand I loved how this matter of Triple Talaq came up, it has made a lot of people to look into Islam, they intended to defame us Muslims but ended up supporting us and also, it has been a great Wake Up call for youngsters living in India to strengthen our concepts about Shari’ah and Islam in order to defend our beautiful religion. Although, Islam is so clear and simple, yet saying that we have to defend sounds wrong, but this is the condition that has become. Truth is been presented so wrongly, that in today’s time even truth needs to be defended. 😦

    What hurts me the most is the ignorance that prevails in out society. The condition of Muslims in India is pathetic and I would say they themselves a largely responsible for it.

    Nevertheless, it’s a test of our iman, how we shake ourselves up and work for the betterment of our ummah.

    May Allah grant Hidayah to this ummah.
    Jazak Allahu Khairan.

    Like

    • wa alaikum assalam , yes you’re right. Gaining ilm is the first step of giving dawah. The trend of giving dawah is so pepped up in us now, that we forget to read the basics of our religion and various concepts belonging to it as per Qur’an and Sunnah. Only a clear concept will make us ready to answer anyone satisfactorily. and for the things we do not know, saying “I don’t know” is half wisdom 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. smeoutcomes says:

    yep thats accurate but why is this written from the perspective that men throw out wives from their homes? or that the iddah is an opportunity for the male spouse to regret this horrible decision? that just isnt right. The reality is if a male spouse wanted the female spouse of out his life forever he can divorce her three times wait for the iddah and boom its done, divorcing one and providing for the iddah would indicated a willingness to make it work. In my experience many indian families actually prefer to take their daughters home during the iddah period thus ultimately ending any chance of reconciliation btw the spouse. In any case, you are right that the iddah is to determine pregnancy and also by the female spouse living with the husband, the hope is natural reconciliation by way of continuing marital relations, once again its not simply for the male spouse to regret his horrible decision. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Jazakallah Khair. You actually made me notice an error. The second part of the sentence was that the female realises her mistake which lead to this. I guess I wrote the first part and left for a while and when I continued again I skipped that sentence. I’ll make amends.

      Whereas about the part where u say a man may divorce her thrice at a go and its over, I mentioned it in the first part where abdullah bin Umar asked the prophet what if he had divorced his wife thrice and the prophet (salallahu alayhi wasallam) said that it would be taken but he would bear the sin of disobeying the laws of Allah. Because that, is not the procedure Allah gives.

      Verse 1&2 of Surah At Talaq do mention that one who have taqwa must adhere to the procedure set by Allah.

      Rest, all agreed. The other way round does happen. Jazakallah Khair

      Like

      • Muslim Loser says:

        Salaam so if I understand correctly when you end the two piece and you say read read sisters or be turned into a piece of meat!!! that does not mean that some how the divorce system is slanted?
        I am not sure I am getting the logic here. On the one hand it seems There is a lobby in indian which want to change what seems to be an indian family court problem and change their indian muslim act or are you suggesting that many muslim men just don’t know the fiqh of divorce? or that the fiqh is simply unfair?

        Like

      • All I mean is that people by far are not aware what the shari’ah speaks of divorce and marriage. I don’t know if you are aware of the triple talaq wave around India where Muslims are strongly being asked to oppose the uniform civil code and to favour the muslim personal law board.

        The sad thing amidst all this is what is the muslim personal law board doing to secure the rights of women. Go to any mulla, maulana and mufti, they will impart ample knowledge about the duties of women and how they must have sabbr through oppression, obey their husbands, serve their in laws and expect reward. But very few harp on her rights and the husbands duties

        After being married into the muslim society, I was surprised how women are not even aware of the term “khula”. And those who are aware know no more than the term.

        Isn’t it amazing how everyone knows about polygamy, triple talaq, obedience of women, the hadith of women doing sujood before husband, that woman won’t enter jannah if husband is displeased but they don’t know the shariah of marriage and divorce? The way Islam has been portrayed is as if only women are burdened to please their masters. Which is absolutely wrong

        The shariah cannot be unfair. And it is not the sole responsibility of men to study and reform. Women have to be aware of their rights too so that they know what they should expect to see in a man they marry

        Liked by 2 people

      • Muslim Loser says:

        Salaam, I see and I understand. While I Agree that not all men the details of fiqh myself included and that maulanas depending on how the facts are presented can totally make arbitrary recommendations that totally dismiss a woman or mans rights. I disagree with the reality of it all.
        The case of whats happening in the indian family courts well that of course is politics and I am not so sure if muslim women will be better off in the indian justice system!.
        As for the classic maulanas well that’s a forgone conclusion, they are totally in it for whichever side has greater social capital. In my exp, I have seen many muslim men totally blindsided from some very strange fatwa like decisions
        As for the rights of men and women well those are universally understood, I mean even western women know that if they don’t let the man lead the house there will be tension in the home. It is common knowledge that a smart woman knows when to be submissive and went to be assertive. if the position of being assertive all the time is adopted you will either have a horrible experience with an upset husband or worse a dismissive husband who finds companionship elsewhere.
        It sounds like things in India are different than what I see in Canada. Goodluck!!!

        Like

      • Wa alaikum assalam.

        There’s no doubt that there is a always a flip side to the coin. When I write about women not knowing their rights, I say keeping in mind the majority of common masses. The percentage who contest in family courts is a bare minimum.

        I do not say that I support the uniform civil code. It has nothing good to offer muslim women and certainly nothing better to offer than the shariah.

        But, nothing is being done to safeguard the rights of muslim women at a legislative level by the muslim personal law board and the elite themselves.. So the only solution is the commoners themselves feed the knowledge of rights and duties.

        There is no substitute to reading and knowing what your law says about you.

        Like

  3. No true muslim i believe, would give her wife even a single talaq let alone triple at once. Further i also agree with Dr Israr Ahmad [May Allah grant him jannah] that those giving triple talaq at once, should be punished with atleast 5 years of prison. In the words of Dr Israr Ahmad “Is it the words of Allah SWT they are playing with”.

    Liked by 2 people

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