Excerpts from my life


I am at my grandma’s place. I feel jealous. Jealous of those who have Muslim families. Whose grandparents at least died uttering the shahadah. I am jealous of those who have practising parents. Who gave them  tarbiyah to be a good Muslim. Did you ever realise, that even when you were not practising, even on the days you didn’t pray salah, when you ever thought of God it was always Allah. If you ever have to beg before someone, it was always Allah.;

At least you knew His name. At least you knew there is some miraculous book of His. You always knew about the Prophet (salallahu alayhi wasallam)

It is a different story here. If we tell them there is only one God, they ask “which one” .. Each day starts with shirk. The temple priest is a snob and everyone hates him but he has to be respected by everyone. I can’t stand his tobacco stained teeth.

I sometimes wonder whether I should get on the top of a mountain(here rock) and declare about Islam how the Prophet (salallahu alayhi wasallam) did. Whether I should break the idols of the temple like Ibrahim (as) did. Whether I should have a direct talk with the priest. Or what else should I do.

No matter what I speak to the women here, goes unheard. My blabbering about The Creator and everything else being creations. About Tawheed. Akhirah. The idols being lifeless. Trees and sun being creations. They agree and the next morning I find them back to the same routine. As if not a thought was spared about what I said for a moment. As if it was just another gossip session.

They are not even literate for me to give away books. Males are a degree above vain. It pains to see their life. Their lifestyle is way tougher than the life in city. Women are working all day long. People eat five meals a day. They are cleaning their houses, washing and ironing clothes, cutting chopping cooking, separate schedule for temple stuff, serving in laws, raising brats, tendering cattles, filling water in containers… They slog from 6am till 9pm. They are just on and on and on. To top it, there is a fast or festival every 5th day where they have to do all this without food. They have restrictions in folding also. There is a list of things they cannot eat simply because they are married.

Waste. All a waste. Aimlessly doing things just because this is what women do in the village. Their simplicity, their goodness..will they be of any use? Only Allah knows. The prettiest bride, the most educated of them, the best and the worst person, each one has the same routine.

At times I am mum. At times I discuss things with them. How is it even supposed to happen in five days? How will guidance reach them when I live 2000 kms away. At times this question haunts me: Should I live in a Muslim dominated place where my imaan is secure. Where I am surrounded with opportunities to gain ilm and practice Islam freely with ease. Or should I give up this privilege and settle here to work on my people. What is more important?

Indeed, guidance is from Allah alone. His plans and His ways are matters we will never know or understand…


13 thoughts on “Guidance.

  1. Mu'Alifah says:

    Assalamu Alaikum.

    Not one of your efforts will go waste, even if no one heeds to your advice. Allah knows that you have tried. That you have been responsible as a muslim. Its completely your decision, to stay or not to stay. And don’t be jealous of muslims who were born in muslim households, who knows, maybe your eeman is firm unlike those muslims because majority of them are just like sheeps following other sheeps in a sheep herd. And maybe this is the struggle Allah has planned for you, Allah swt has not intended hardship on his creation that it can not bear. Sabr is beautiful and fruitful.


  2. There is a book called the Pedagogy of the oppressed and I think it might help give you an insight into the villagers’ life and how to start conversation regarding change with them. Some of my family are Catholic and some are non practicing Muslims, may Allah give them guidance. If you ever want to talk, DM me on instagram 🤗

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Sending love. I lived in India for 9 months i have seen what you have said. It’s such a rare beauty to find an India convert away from their false idols. Look at your self before looking after others. I lived in a non Islamic area and is almost destroyed my deen. Don’t let that happen to yourself. I lived in hyderabad, my husband is desi and I’m gori 🙂 always here if you need a chat

    Liked by 1 person

  4. As Salaamu Alaikum. You cannot guide anyone, only Allah can. However, you can do what Ibrahim alaihi Salaam did, and I am not talking about breaking idols which is something very prominent. However, the Quran is filled with supplications, and some of the most beautiful about family are from Ibraheem alaihi salaam, pray Qiyaam al Layl, ask the only one who can guide, when people approach you show them what has changed for good in you from Islam, not by just telling them of Islam but by showing them of Islam, and remain patient while doing all of this, Ibrahim alaihi salaam remained patient for decades. Khalid Ibn Waleed accepted it much later, after Uhud, Al Abbas accepted Islam just before Fateh Makkah, Abu Sufyan during Fateh Makkah, Ikrimah accepted it after Fateh Makkah, and Wahshi accepted it much after that. If Allah has written guidance it will come, the question is are we supplicating for their guidance, and will we be among those who are used by Allah in their guidance.

    Easier to say, and tougher to practice. May Allah help us all. Ameen.


  5. Allah has guided you and will always be there. The noor of emaan is instilled in your heart by the Almighty. Hence your emaan is safe. Don’t worry. You are the chosen one. Pray for us all who are born Muslims but not as good as you are or we should be


  6. I can imagine your pain, I think society ,community and habits play a big role in people’s lives, they might see truth in your words but changing their habits, lifestyle or offending their community or elders is the hardest thing to do, ! Do not get dishearten ,just pray for their guidance and leave the rest to Allah. He knows what is in hearts of people ,he is the one to accept our prayers.


  7. Allah chose to be in this situation for a reason… May be this is what He wants you to do… You are mashaAllah trying very hard and tieing your camel… Now keep doing that but put your trust in Allah… He has named Himself Al Hadi, not us or internet or books… He will guide… We are just means…He doesnt need to use you to guide those people yet He ordained fod you to call them to Tawhid cuz He wanted to give you a sunnah, a legacy of the prophets to follow.. So be grateful for the honor and follow their footsteps… Keep doing what you are doing… And when you feel disheartened remember about Umar Bin Khattab 🙂
    May Allah guide your family and loved ones in the most beautiful and easiest of ways and put them in the service of this deen just like you ameen ameen ameen 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  8. The temptation to live in a msulim country is overwhelming me these days. Especially with all the prejudices going on lately. May Allah s.w.t. bless you with ease from all your hardships inshallah.

    Liked by 2 people

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